When someone threatens your safety or the safety of your children, you need to act fast. A domestic violence restraining order gives you legal protection that can make a real difference in dangerous situations. But many people don’t know how these orders actually work, who can get one, or what happens after you file.
This guide explains everything you need to know about domestic violence restraining orders in California. You’ll learn who qualifies, what counts as abuse, how to file, and what protections you can expect.
Who Can Get a Domestic Violence Restraining Order?
Not everyone can file for a domestic violence restraining order. California law limits these orders to people who have specific relationships with the person they need protection from.
You can file for a domestic violence restraining order if the person you need protection from is:
- Your current or former spouse
- Someone you’re dating or used to date
- Your domestic partner
- Someone you live with or lived with in the past
- A parent of your child
- Your parent, child, sibling, or grandparent
- Your in-laws or other family members by marriage
The relationship doesn’t have to be current. Even if you divorced years ago or stopped dating months back, you can still file if abuse happens now. This broad definition helps many people get the protection they need.
What Counts as Domestic Violence Under California Law?
Many people think domestic violence only means hitting or physical attacks. That’s part of it, but California law recognizes many other types of abuse too.
Physical Abuse and Violence
This includes any unwanted physical contact meant to hurt, scare, or control you. Hitting, slapping, pushing, kicking, or choking all count as physical abuse. But it doesn’t stop there.
Breaking things during fights counts too. When someone punches walls, throws objects, or destroys your belongings to scare you, that’s domestic violence. These actions create fear even when they don’t involve touching you directly.
Controlling Your Movement
Stopping you from leaving a room or your home qualifies as abuse. If someone blocks doorways, takes your car keys, hides your phone, or physically prevents you from going somewhere, they’re breaking the law.
Technology and Surveillance Abuse
Modern technology creates new ways for abusers to control their victims. California recognizes these as domestic violence:
- Tracking your location through your phone or car GPS
- Reading your texts and emails without permission
- Installing monitoring software on your devices
- Using cameras to watch you without consent
- Checking your internet history to control where you go online
Taking away your phone or other devices to cut you off from help also counts as abuse.
Financial Control
When someone uses money to control you, that’s domestic violence. This includes:
- Stopping you from working or getting a job
- Taking your paychecks or controlling all the money
- Refusing to let you access bank accounts
- Making you ask permission for every purchase
- Running up debt in your name
- Hiding assets or income from you
Financial abuse traps people in dangerous situations by making it hard to leave.
Threats and Intimidation
You don’t have to wait until someone physically hurts you. Threats of violence count as domestic violence. This includes threats to:
- Hurt you or your children
- Harm your pets
- Damage your property
- Report you to immigration authorities
- Take your children away
- Hurt themselves to manipulate you
Abuse of Children or Pets
Domestic violence doesn’t have to target you directly. If someone abuses your children or pets to control or hurt you, that gives you grounds for a restraining order. Using the people and animals you love as tools of control is abuse.
What Protection Does a Restraining Order Give You?
A domestic violence restraining order provides several layers of protection. Understanding what these orders can do helps you know what to expect.
No Contact Requirements
The order makes all contact illegal. The person named in the order cannot:
- Talk to you in person
- Call or text you
- Email you or message you online
- Contact you through social media
- Send messages through friends or family
- Show up where you are
If they try to reach out through someone else, that breaks the order too. The no-contact rule is complete.
Stay-Away Orders
Most restraining orders require the person to stay at least 100 yards away from you. This applies to:
- Your home
- Your workplace
- Your car
- Your children’s school or daycare
- Any other places you regularly go
This distance rule helps you go about your daily life without fear of running into the person who hurt you.
Move-Out Orders
Even if the abuser owns your home or their name is on the lease, the court can order them to move out immediately. This lets you stay in your home where you feel safe. You shouldn’t have to leave your own house because someone else chose to be abusive.
Emergency Child Custody and Visitation
Restraining orders can immediately change custody arrangements. The court can:
- Give you temporary full custody
- Stop all visits between the abuser and your children
- Order supervised visits only
- Change pickup and dropoff locations to keep you safe
These custody orders stay in place until your full court hearing. If your children are in danger, the court acts fast to protect them.
Gun Restrictions
California law requires anyone with a domestic violence restraining order against them to turn in all guns and ammunition right away. They must give their firearms to the police or a licensed gun dealer within 24 hours.
The person cannot buy, own, or have access to guns while the order is active. Studies show that guns make domestic violence situations much more deadly, so this rule saves lives.
Other Possible Protections
Depending on your situation, the court can also order:
- Payment of your attorney fees
- Return of your personal property
- Payment for costs related to the abuse
- Reimbursement for damaged property
- Coverage of medical bills from injuries
The Filing Process: Step by Step
Getting a restraining order involves several steps. Knowing what to expect makes the process less overwhelming.
Step 1: Complete the Paperwork
You need to fill out court forms that explain why you need protection. The main forms include:
- Request for Domestic Violence Restraining Order (Form DV-100)
- Confidential CLETS Information (Form CLETS-001)
- Notice of Court Hearing (Form DV-109)
- Temporary Restraining Order (Form DV-110)
You can get these forms at your local courthouse or download them from the California Courts website. Fill them out completely and be as detailed as possible.
Step 2: Describe the Abuse
This is the most important part of your paperwork. Write down specific incidents of abuse with as much detail as you can remember:
- Exact dates when things happened
- What time of day it occurred
- Exactly what the person did or said
- Any injuries you got
- Whether police came
- Names of any witnesses
- Photos of injuries or damage
Don’t worry about perfect writing. Just be clear, honest, and specific. The more details you include, the better the judge can understand your situation.
Step 3: File Your Forms
Take your completed forms to the family law clerk at your local courthouse. There’s no fee to file for a domestic violence restraining order. The clerk will review your forms and assign you a court date, usually about three weeks away.
Step 4: See the Judge That Day
After you file, a judge will review your paperwork that same day in most cases. The judge decides whether to grant you a temporary restraining order until your full hearing. This happens without the other person being there or knowing about it yet.
The judge can:
- Grant all the protections you asked for
- Grant some of them but not others
- Deny the temporary order but still schedule your hearing
Even if the temporary order is denied, you still get your day in court at the hearing.
Step 5: Serve the Papers
If you get a temporary order, someone must officially deliver copies of all your court papers to the other person. This is called service. You cannot do this yourself. Someone else who is at least 18 years old must hand the papers directly to the person.
You can ask a friend, family member, or process server to do this. The sheriff’s department will also serve papers for free in most California counties.
Service must happen at least five days before your court hearing. The person serving the papers must fill out a Proof of Service form showing when and where they delivered the documents.
Step 6: Prepare for Your Hearing
Your hearing is your chance to prove you need long-term protection. This is a real court trial where both sides can present evidence.
Gather evidence to bring with you:
- Photos of injuries or damaged property
- Medical records or police reports
- Text messages, emails, or voicemails
- Witnesses who can testify about what they saw
- Records showing financial abuse
- Documentation of stalking or harassment
Organize everything by date. Make copies of all documents to give to the court and the other party. Practice explaining what happened in a clear, calm way.
Temporary vs. Permanent Restraining Orders
Understanding the difference between temporary and permanent orders helps you know what to expect at each stage.
Temporary Restraining Orders
A temporary restraining order (TRO) typically lasts about three weeks until your hearing date. The judge grants this based only on the paperwork you submit. The other person doesn’t get to respond yet.
TROs provide immediate protection while your case moves forward. You can get one the same day you file in many cases. But remember that a temporary order doesn’t guarantee you’ll get a permanent one.
Permanent Restraining Orders
Despite the name, permanent restraining orders aren’t actually permanent. They usually last between one and five years. The judge decides the length based on your situation.
To get a permanent order, you must prove your case at the hearing. The other person can present their side, call witnesses, and show evidence. The judge weighs everything before deciding.
Both you and the other person can testify. You can both have lawyers, though you don’t have to. The judge will ask questions and review all the evidence before making a decision.
If the judge grants your permanent order, the protections continue for years. The other person can ask the court to end the order early, but they have to prove the situation has changed and you’re no longer in danger.
What Happens at the Hearing?
The hearing is the most important part of the restraining order process. This is when the judge decides whether to grant you long-term protection.
Before the Hearing Starts
Arrive at the courthouse early. Bring all your evidence and any witnesses with you. Check in with the clerk so they know you’re there.
Many courthouses have victim advocates who can answer questions and sit with you during the hearing. They can explain what will happen and help you feel more prepared.
During the Hearing
The hearing follows a specific order:
First, the judge will confirm both parties are present and understand why everyone is there.
Next, you present your case. You can tell the judge what happened and explain why you need protection. You can show evidence and call witnesses. Speak clearly and stick to the facts. Tell the truth and don’t exaggerate.
Then the other person gets to respond. They can present their own evidence and call witnesses. They might deny your claims or try to explain things differently.
Both sides can ask questions of the other party and their witnesses. This is called cross-examination.
Finally, the judge may ask additional questions. When everyone has presented their case, the judge makes a decision.
The Judge’s Decision
The judge will either grant or deny your request for a permanent restraining order. If granted, the judge decides:
- How long the order will last (usually one to five years)
- Exactly what protections you get
- Whether custody and visitation orders are needed
- If the other person must pay any costs
The judge explains the decision in court and issues written orders. Both parties receive copies before leaving.
If your request is denied, the temporary order ends right away. The other person is no longer bound by any restrictions.
After the Hearing
If you receive a permanent order, keep a copy with you at all times. Give copies to your workplace, your children’s school, and anyone else who needs to know.
The court sends information about the order to law enforcement through the CLETS system. This means police across California can see the order and enforce it.
If the other person violates the order, call the police immediately. Violating a restraining order is a crime. The person can be arrested and charged, and they could face jail time.
Common Questions About Restraining Orders
Do I Need a Lawyer?
You don’t have to have a lawyer to get a restraining order, but having one helps. Domestic violence cases can be complex, especially when children, property, or other legal issues are involved. A lawyer can help you:
- Fill out forms correctly
- Gather strong evidence
- Present your case effectively
- Cross-examine the other party
- Understand your legal options
What If I Can’t Afford Court Costs?
There are no filing fees for domestic violence restraining orders in California. You also don’t have to pay to have the sheriff serve your papers. If you need certified copies of court documents later, you can ask the court to waive those fees too.
Can I Drop the Restraining Order Later?
Yes, you can ask the court to end the order at any time. You need to file paperwork requesting dismissal. Some judges will grant this automatically, while others may ask why you want to dismiss it.
However, only you can request dismissal. The person the order is against cannot ask the court to end it unless they can prove you’re no longer in danger.
What If We Have Children Together?
The restraining order can include custody and visitation orders. These orders can:
- Give you temporary sole custody
- Allow supervised visits only
- Set up safe exchange locations
- Prohibit the other parent from taking children out of state
The family court can modify these orders later as part of a separate custody case if needed.
What If the Person Contacts Me?
Any contact violates the restraining order. Even if you respond or agree to meet, the other person is breaking the law by reaching out. Call the police every time this happens.
Document all violation attempts. Save texts, emails, voicemails, and note when the person shows up in places they shouldn’t be. This evidence helps if you need to extend the order or if criminal charges are filed.
How Long Does the Process Take?
From filing to your hearing usually takes about three weeks. Getting a temporary order can happen the same day you file. If the judge grants a permanent order, it typically lasts one to five years.
The entire court process might take just one hearing if both sides are prepared. Sometimes the judge continues the hearing to another date if more information is needed.
When You Need Legal Help
Domestic violence situations are dangerous and legally complex. The restraining order process involves strict deadlines, detailed paperwork, and court procedures that can feel overwhelming when you’re dealing with abuse.
Having a lawyer who understands California domestic violence law makes a big difference in protecting yourself and your children. A lawyer can make sure your paperwork is complete and persuasive, help you gather strong evidence, represent you at the hearing, and make sure you get all the protections you need.
Whether you’re seeking protection or responding to allegations against you, Griffith Young can help. Our team knows California family law and domestic violence cases. We understand what you’re going through, and we know how to protect your rights and safety.
Call Griffith Young at 858-345-1720 for a consultation. We’ll review your situation, explain your options, and help you take the right steps to stay safe. Don’t wait to get the protection you need.